I just read The Hunger Games for the first time, and despite the fact that I longed to edit nearly every page of it, I really enjoyed reading it. But I couldn't help but think as I read it what a terrible contestant I would be in a fight to the death.
For this reason, I present to you
-Shot with blowdart while running for pink backpack with Hello Kitty decal at Cornucopia
-Knocked over head with rock when given away by aroma of shrimp and grits cooking over fire
-Speared while tucked into a tree writing a poem about my feelings
-Beaten to death when neon pink Doc Martens prove to be ineffective camouflage
-Bled out after shooting self in leg with crossbow sent by well-meaning fans
-Mauled in hand-to-hand combat with a groosling
-Gangrene from Bedazzler injury stemming from attempt to to sass up my uniform
-Poisoned by what appeared to be a wild katniss but was in fact a discarded tennis shoe
-Tried to make friends with especially cute tracker jacker
-Collapsed into immobile, sobbing heap the moment the games begin; dog-piled by other tributes
How would you die in the Hunger Games?