all roads lead to quidquid

confession time: I really do not care for U2

I have recently hit 20,000 unique visits to my dumb little blog. In honor of this milestone, I’d like to share some statistics with you.

I love Google Analytics. I love combing through the stats and seeing how people get to my blog. Many come from Facebook or Twitter, but 20% of my traffic comes from search engines. And Google Analytics allows me to see what everyone is searching for that brings them to my blog. These searches fall into a few different categories:

DID NOT FIND WHAT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR
blueberry aioli recipe
cabbage drug
Chaka Khan marinade
dogs pulling airplane on snow
floppy melon doggy floor
grad school classics social life (haha)
“hello kitty and pocohontas” (I assume they were looking for this but instead found this
I like Boston
Jerry Doreen cabbage patch value
living in a cabbage truck
meeting a perfect person
one of the reasons was difficulty
Rodney King verdict

FOUND EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE LOOKING FOR…
Babyland General Hospital
being naked is awesome
Biloxi pirate ship
culture shock for a southerner living in Boston
everyone in Boston says all set
grad school classics bad idea
I lost my glasses in the ocean
Mardi Gras do’s and don’ts
satc 2 carrie selfish brat
surviving New England winters
terrible experiences in grad school

…DESPITE ALL ODDS
American girl Samantha watercress sandwich
Boudreaux Jenkins
cartman twelve gangs
cauterized uvula
definition of imagicillan
healthworks naked or nude or nudity
jack rabbit acceleration Toyota Avalon
lambert the sheepish lion discussion
mardi gras tablescape
number and color synesthesia mental math
shaq snow measurement boston
tree gives birth to child

POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS
chicken parts
classics grad school that will pay for me
despite all my rage I was still just a level 3 mage
having s*x with a cabbage patch kids doll
naked site:quidquidquidquid.blogspot.com
naked womens changing room celebrations
old s*x in the bouet (I think this one is my favorite)
quidquid, human body party
rub some baby powder on the cabbage patch doll

GOT ANSWERS TO THEIR QUESTIONS
are children impressionable?
do New Englanders dislike southerners?
do southerners hate New Englanders?
do the indigo girls do private gigs?
is it bad luck to pick beads up off the ground at mardi gras?
should I go to grad school in classics?
what do women think about being nude in the locker room?

and finally, there’s a category that I can only call

GOOGLE IS MAGIC
classy bitches in fur coats
fingernail’s grip on reality
Georgia peach season in New England
grad school is like a vodka drinking contest
hit the players club bout a month or two
starburst mouth burns
the worst kind of mischief that can get into the country

DISCUSSION QUESTION:: What’s your favorite stupid search term that led to my blog? What’s your favorite quidquid post? Thanks so much for reading my blog and sharing the link with aw your peeps.

whateva whateva, I do what I want

I roll with twelve gangs.
--Eric Cartman

I, like so many others, have derived some of the most essential lessons of my life from watching South Park. But amid the many dozens of jewels of wisdom I have gleaned from Eric Cartman, one stands out as the most salient.

According to Wikipedia, Episode 82 (titled "Freak Strike") centers around Cartman landing himself a spot on Maury. You had me at hello.

Cartman records a "backstage clip" that is an absolutely spot-on satire of the real episodes of Maury about Out-of-Control Teens.



WARNING: NSFW



I don't go to school and I kill people. WHATEVA! I do what I want!


My father, who generally has very little patience for trash television, has a secret love of Out-of-Control-Teen talk shows. We used to watch them together all the time and find ourselves talking about an episode days later or weeks later, mimicking the Teens, gesticulating sassily with our index fingers. I think they must be out of style now because I don't see them on TV much anymore.

Anyway, this scene is a brilliant parody of Maury and all of the other talk shows that exploitshowcase Out-of-Control Teens, but it's also more.

Cartman's cry of whateva whateva I do what I want is primal and liberated and so right on with my life philosophy. It is my life philosophy. It's yours now too. I even translated it into Latin to make it sound like a university motto.



QUIDQUID QUIDQUID
QUODCUMQUE VOLO FACIO


Haters to the left. Do your thing, honey.


PS I promise to actually write about something next time